IESG Launches bold DARE initiative, enlists Nancy Reagan

Washington DC. Nov. 21, 2003 (a parody; this is NOT a real report; the IESG probably doesn't think it is funny either)

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Today, the Internet Engineering Steering Group (IESG) kicked off it's "DARE to be congestion avoidant" campaign, encouraging kids, and network operators, and even current users of datagrams to "just say no".  Modeled after the US's amazingly successful DARE anti-drug campaign, the IESG hopes to achieve equal or even better results.

Predictions of the benefits of a Datagram free network neighborhood are too numerous and stunning to be published in this humble summary.  Suffice it to say, you won't believe it's the same Internet!

The IESG's new Datagram Abuse Resistance Education program has enlisted hundreds of participants to spread the good word about leaving behind the use of the repugnant User Datagram Protocol.  An IESG spokesman summarized the viewpoint by saying "Haven't we evolved as a people to the point where we can all agree that UDP is clearly detrimental and without any redeeming qualities?"

Nancy Reagan is the honorary campaign spokeswoman.  Nancy was overheard saying, "UDP, I thought you said PCP?"

Stamp out legacy renegade protocols such as RADIUS, SNMP, RPC, RTP and their blatant disregard for network congestion, the nations number two leading download time killer.

And don't leave a single emerging protocol behind.  The IESG spokesman continued, "The sinful tempation of unfettered data transmission may be too great for those less informed.  Ensure they all know the true evils of ignoring congestion in our nation's fragile information ecosystem."  

President Bush has not formed an official position, stating only "In general, I'm in favor of less regulation fettering the consumption of any ecosystem, not more, but I'll get back to you...  Fettering is bad, right?"

-- Jeff Meyer reporting